Able

There are a lot of things that people have said to me in the past four months that have been very encouraging, and also some that have not been very helpful.  Even the things that I know are true, like that fact that Graham is in a much better place, that he feels much better, that what has happened to our family has ministered to others, doesn't always help when all I want is to see my Graham again.  I feel so bad saying that, and I can't believe I'm writing this out.  But 1) I am a pretty honest person and it's hard for me not to share things and 2) I want to really do a good job representing how this grief journey has played out in my life.

There is one statement, though, that I have heard many times that I have to speak up about.  God doesn't give us more than we can handle.  Oh friends, let me just tell you, God definitely gives us more than we can handle.  If God only gave me what I can handle then I would have nothing.  Because, by myself, I can't do anything.  I am not strong.  I am not able.

Praise the Lord that He is.  That Christ in me, is.  Check out Ephesians 3:20 -

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,

I find myself playing through everything that has happened to us in the past 8 months often.  And, geez louise, it's a lot of stuff.  I just re-read our CaringBridge website the other day and it takes my breath away every time.  And I just cry and cry.  There is no way that I, in my flesh, could have stood up under the weight of it all.  But God has been so faithful to us. 

When we are weak (always), He is strong (always).  

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Romans 5:3-5