What satisfies you?

I think I could watch this video over and over again. There is so much in it that resonates in my soul.

About 4 weeks ago I was sitting on my bed on a Saturday afternoon. I looked down, and I was covered in blood. And the first thing I thought was, we lost this baby, too. I ran to the bathroom while yelling across the house to Matt. After a quick call to one of my nurse friends, we were in the car on the way to the hospital. We were silent for a little bit, but then I asked Matt to pray. He prayed to God, pleading for the safety of our baby, but also telling God that we loved Him and trusted Him. After he was done, I said that if losing this baby is what God has in store for us, then it's what we want. And then I wondered, where in the world did that come from?

We arrived at the hospital and were taken into the same room where we had our second ultrasound in November and made the decision there to have a D & C. I was a scared of history repeating itself. Yet, there was this peace inside my soul that I knew whatever happens, God is the same. And as John Piper put it, God is enough. He is big enough to take care of whatever is going on, even if taking care of it means that I lose my baby.

The good news is that the baby is OK and we will find out more about my low-lying placenta in the weeks to come. But the better news is that God is in control and I am not. I still feel this anxiousness rise up in me from time to time. But I try to bring myself back to that day 4 weeks ago and to feel the boldness that was in my heart and the peace in my soul.

I pray that I will strive daily to find satisfaction in the only thing that is for sure - God. That regardless of what happens with this baby, with my life in general, that I will be able to make God look glorious.

The Picture Game

Okay everyone, it's time for a new "get to know your friends" post! I was tagged by Bethany. Here are the rules: Take all the pictures right away (no cleaning up first!!!), and then tag three friends to do it too!

1. Favorite Destination:
DISNEY WORLD!! I love that place! This was actually a hard question, but Disney World can always put a smile on my face. :)

2. Self-Portrait

3. What the Kids Are Doing

Well, Lizzie is relaxing. She is a big fan of laying around. :)

Baby Dugan is chillaxin' in the belly. Which, by the way, looks HUMONGOUS in this picture. I hope it's just the angle and the fact that I'm wearing a striped shirt.

4. My Closet

Well, today is your lucky day. Matt and I were bitten by a productive bug on Sunday afternoon and went through my whole wardrobe. I got rid of 3 huge bags of clothes, purses, and shoes. Also, I packed up some clothes that I won't be able to fit into until after Baby Dugan makes an entrance.

5. The Laundry Room

Looks like I need to put up some towels. But, other than that, pretty impressive. Definitely not the norm.

6. The Refrigerator

OK, this is a bit embarassing. If you need drinks or condiments, we got you covered. Other than that...

7. Favorite Room in the House

I like our living room a lot. It's definitely where we spend most of our waking hours when we are home. Lizzie loves the chair in the corner. Matt and I usually get to share the couch. :)

8. The Bathroom

OK, you're not gonna see the master bathroom right now. It's a little lived in. But here's our pink guest bathroom. You can usually count on that one to be clean.

9. The Kitchen Sink

We have dirty dishes, but they're all in the dishwasher.

10. Favorite Shoes

Here's my reliable, go with anything, wedges. Notice they are exactly the same, just one pair in black and one pair in brown. When you find something you like, you gotta stick with it, right?

Fun stuff! Now I'm tagging: Sarah, Becky, and Sara!

Remember, no cleaning up before you take the pictures!!!

Un-bloggy

I am really awful at this whole blog thing. I look at everyone's blogs at least once a day, but then I look at mine, and say, "Eh, maybe later." The energy to think of something fun, witty, or interesting to write about seems to escape me...daily.

But, here's a recap of life lately:

I am going to be 16 weeks pregnant on Friday. Whoa nelly! The pregnancy has been fairly normal except for one little hiccup a couple of weeks ago. Basically, I began bleeding and Matt and I rushed to the hospital. The good news: The baby is fine. We actually got to see it and it looks so different from the last ultrasound. It's little legs and arms were moving all around. It was such a relief. The bad news: My placenta is right on top of my cervix. There is a fairly good chance it will move to where it's supposed to be, but if it doesn't I will be dealing with placenta previa. Read: More bleeding, Bedrest, Possible preterm labor, C-section. So, please pray that my placenta will move up to its correct spot so that we can avoid all of those "fun issues."

My next visit to the doctor is in about 2 1/2 weeks (Sept. 5th). That's where we'll find out what we're having and also see what my placenta has done. Anyone who has been brave enough to guess what we're having says a boy. I have no idea one way or another. And, honestly, don't care. I just want this baby to be healthy. I know, that is so cliche. But also, so true.

I already have a plan for 2 more blogs, so be on the lookout. Bethany tagged me for a picture blog, which I plan to do tomorrow on my day off. Also, through the whole "hiccup" a couple of weeks ago God was doing some cool stuff in my heart. And I want to share a little more about that.

But, for now, can anyone believe how many times I typed the word placenta in this blog? Pregnancy seems to throw modesty out the window. :)