Graham

My second son, Graham Edward, was born on February 3, 2012 at 12:56 pm. He weighed 6 lbs., 8 oz. and was 18.25 inches long. He was born via c-section at 36 weeks gestation. He passed away peacefully at 4:45 pm, surrounded my his Mom, Dad, and big brother, Parker (3 years old).

In utero, Graham was diagnosed with Posterior Urethral Valves. Basically, a valve was closed below his bladder that took away his ability to urinate. And because of that one, small valve not working - it set off a myriad of problems. The main cause of his death was pulmonary hypoplasia - which means his lungs were incapable of functioning. Throughout the pregnancy, the doctors gave him a 50% chance of survival. If he DID survive, he was going to have severe bladder and kidney issues, which most likely would have resulted in kidney dialysis and transplant.

Unfortunately, not until he was born were we able to know for sure what the outcome would be. We found out about Graham’s issues at our “big, gender ultrasound” in October 2011. From that appointment, they sent us to Houston for all kinds of testing. After discovering the Posterior Urethral Valves, they were able to perform a surgery in utero that put a shunt in Graham’s bladder, which bypassed the need to urinate and gave him some amniotic fluid. All at 20 weeks gestation!

However, even with the surgery, the shunt was unable to fix the severity of his problems.

On February 3, 2012, after much debate, the doctors decided it was time to take Graham. As soon as they pulled him out of my stomach he was wriggling around, but not able to make any sounds. They worked on intubating him and letting his lungs breathe. The first procedure they had to do, in the operating room, was successful. They felt comfortable enough to take him up to the NICU to put him on a high-frequency breathing machine.

He needed to be put onto the high-frequency breathing machine, but in the end, that is what caused him to be unable to survive. The machine blew a hole into his lung.

5 days before delivery we met with the doctors and they told us that this could very well happen, and that we needed to be prepared to make some decisions. We decided then that we would discontinue any other efforts and just hold him until he passed onto Heaven. So, when the doctors walked into our room to tell us the worst news possible, our mind was already made up – despite what our heart wanted.

We asked for them to bring us Graham and we were able to spend 2 hours holding and loving on him until Jesus called him home.

You can read more about his story at www.caringbridge.org/grahamdugan.