It is a little bit of a bummer to get onto my blog and see the ticker in the top righthand corner that says that I am 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant. But, If I'm really being honest, I always felt that I would probably be late. I mean, my mom was 3 1/2 weeks late with my brother, and she would probably be pregnant with him still to this day if she hadn't finally demanded a c-section. :)
If Parker doesn't come on his own, then I will go into the hospital this Thursday night (Feb. 12th) at 10 pm. They will start me on Cervadil to soften my cervix and my doctor told me that I could just sleep that night at the hospital. Are you kidding me? Does he really think any sleeping will be going on that night? I mean, really. Except, I know Matt will be fine and snoring within 5 minutes. Then, early this Friday morning they will start giving me Pitocin in my IV to kickstart labor. So...It is looking more and more like Parker will be my little Friday the 13th baby.
The gravity of it all is starting to hit me and I'm trying to stay calm. I mean, there are SO many things that I am scared and unsure about. First, of course, is labor. But, after that, will he be healthy? Will I be able to breastfeed? Will I ever sleep again? (I tend to need about 8 hours a night) How will this change mine and Matt's relationship? So many things that are running around in my head.
At the very same time, I get so emotional just thinking of the journey that Matt and I have taken to get to this point. And the miracle that God created through childbirth. I cannot comprehend how someone could question the existence of God, especially when thinking about every single part of childbirth. From conception to that very first breath, and all of the tiny details in between. I am SO thankful that I have been able to experience this miracle.
